Goin the whole grumphie

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It’s time fer me tae go tae battle wi ma auto-mak-richt.

I’m scrievin in Scots as it’s Burns Nicht the nicht an a thought it was as guid a time as ony. I’ve bin meaning tae write here in Scots fer some time but have no got round to it properly until noo. I’ve decided but, today’s the day to go the whole grumphie. Grumphie is a Scots word for ‘pig’. I was learnt it by the braw Scots translation of Winne the Pooh by James Robertson. The character A. A. Milne cried ‘Piglet’ is kent as ‘Wee Grumphie.’ What a name!

Scrievin in Scots can be a scunner. It’s instinctive tae speak a blend o Scots an its sister leid English dependin on the circumstances but scrievin it is something we’re no as practiced at. There’s the spelling! It’s less established and consistent. But that can be a gift. Cause it’s braw an aw. There’s a freedom tae tappin in tae the mair fluid and emotional form of expression. It can be hard to see sometimes where Scots and English begin an end but that’s no bad thing. Hauding on to that dissonance is awfie guid for the heid.

I love English, it’s a bonnie leid and I’m awfie proud o it. It’s ma breid and butter. But I’m fer a bit o Scots Marmalade noo and then too. So I’m going to scrieve mair often in Scots as I learn how tae.

I’m haen haggis the nicht. I mind reading that cultures aw ower the world hae a version o haggis. No aw as schmecken as haggis I’m sure (how no use some Deutch an aw?). The thing about haggis is that we Scots have chosen it tae be wur national dish. A thrifty savoury take on what ithers wid see as unsavoury. It’s goin the whole sheep. Makin something glorious oot o something couthie.

I had pork tongue on a Rosemary Cob my wife made. It was delicious. Taking salt, water, flour, rosemary fae the gairden and her ingenuity she made wan o the best brieds I’ve ever had. Wi a bit of tongue, meat often ignored and wasted it was sublime. That Jamie Oliver an his pal point oot tae us the ither day about aw the pork that goes tae waste because we as a shoapin public wilnae buy it. So he was championing British charcuterie (a new wan on me! What a word eh?), spiering us tae save mair o the meat an makin it in tae salami an that. Braw.

We need to get better at usin what we have, bein mair creative an inventive. Baith in culinary and linguistic terms. There’s mair we could be using oot there. So let’s use the day as a chance to kick that aff. Let’s use mair words an mair o wur food.

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