Fifty Shades of Green


I’ve now been to a branch meeting and everything. I’m well Green. I’m all about the Scottish Greens. I really enjoyed my first meeting of the Ayrshire group, what a diverse bunch of passionate people. What resonates with me most about Green Politics is how hopeful, human and imaginative it is. If you have hastily formed preconceptions about the Greens I’d suggest you dig a bit deeper. Green politics is by its nature hospitable, inclusive and sensible. You might be Greener than you think.

The Green House is a big house that lets a lot a light of in and has a lot of life in. In my father’s house there are many pollytunnels etc, etc

There are many routes to Green and it takes all sorts to make this vibrant, thoughtful, engaged bunch. There are many different types of Green. At least fifty. Okay here goes…

Sea Greens – All about the tidal power baby.

Evergreens – Green before it was cool. Trailblazers who led and lead the way.

Kermit Greens – People perhaps for whom It Aint Easy Being Green, as traditionally they don’t see themselves as belonging to any party at all but gradually they manage to make a home here.

Forest Greens – Brainy bunch who can see the wood AND the trees, big and small picture.

Green Shoots – Just voted for the first time and ready to get more involved.

Mint Greens – People who were jaded by the system/party politics who have found a breath of fresh air.

Pistachio Greens – Mysterious, cards close to their chest. Hard nuts to crack.

Neon Greens – They have so many badges that their badges are wearing badges.

British Racing Greens – Voted No to independence.

Olive Greens – All about the peace.

Teal Greens – Hard to place on the spectrum.

Cee Lo Greens – Radical Greens, ‘They’ve seen you driving round town with the parliament they love and they’re like – *&($ You’

Khaki Greens – Pacifists. They also love irony.

Eucalyptus Greens – The globetrotters.

Jungle Greens – The Real globetrotters.

Lime Greens – Friendly, helpful, informative.

Green Teas – Refreshing. Take a bit of getting used to. But worth it.

Lincoln Greens – In favour of very progressive taxation.

Spring Greens – Maybe a little fuzzy on policy but got a real skip in their step.

Turquoise Greens – Put the class in middle class.

Pastel Greens – Let’s reduce and re-use and upcycle you dig?

Bottle Greens – It was this or the drink.

Greens with Envy – Used to be SNP.

Green Machines – At every single event, march and protest.

Turning Greens – Ex-Labour folk who were feeling a bit queasy where they were.

Green Peas – Just want to give peas a chance.

Emerald Greens – They while away the hours, conversin’ with the flowers.

Basil Greens – Attack cars with branches.

Sage Greens – Know the party inside out.

Shrek Greens – Big voice, heart of gold.

Dinosaur Greens – Guilty about the big footprint (carbon).

Wellie Boot Greens – Hands on, practical, want to get stuck in.

Elf Greens – At the festivals, flowers in hair, sometimes mutter spells under their breath.

Leprechaun Greens – Not willing to give up on that pot o gold.

Guacamole Greens – Guacamole not Wack-A-Mole, animal rights activists.

Colourblind Greens – Meant to join the Socialist party.

Green Giants – Pillars of the community who others rally around for shelter.

Glow in the Dark Greens – Broken into one too many secret laboratories on protests. Comic book origins in the making.

Sprout Greens – Green at Christmas when they’re sick of all the wrapping paper.

Reverend Greens – Iona Community/Ordinary Radicals/New Monastics

Walkers Crisps Green – Made a radical conversion a while back.

Frog green – Anytime you mention a book or an obscure pamphlet or a blog they’re all ‘read it, read it, read it’.

Green Smoothies – wasn’t working so they thought they’d try this.

Parrot Greens – I agree with Patrick.

Limescale Greens – Ready to tackle the really hard issues.

Mould Greens – Ready to tackle the really, really hard issues.

Pear Greens – Will go if their friend does.

Moss Greens – Will always turn up to everything.

Spinach Greens – Humble, strong, full of goodness.

Acorn Greens – People who think that there’s got to be some small way, some place to start, where we can live more human lives, working with rather than against nature, working with rather than against each other. Where conflict is resolved imaginatively and non-violently. Some wee place to start that could lead to great things.



  1. What about the Green Green Grass of Home greens?
    (Working on others). Good post.

    1. That’s a great one! Defectors from Plaid Cymru

  2. Tim Reid · · Reply

    Love it, though the Green Giant one is a bit corny.

  3. […] you see resonates, that you consider joining. There’s all sorts of Greens, in fact more than Fifty Shades of Green, everybody is […]

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